How to Dance on a Cloudy Day

I woke up to a grey day and pulled myself together to get to the office. On the way I heard sirens, which ended up meaning I got a speeding ticket - my first moving violation in 30 years. Now I’m waiting for a call from my doctor about some test results. Looks like we’ll be scheduling a biopsy.

This is a cloudy day, in more ways than one. I’m having some uncomfortable feelings.

So, why dance now?

Why not???

Sure, I want to allow my feelings. As a psychotherapist, a lot of my work with others involves helping them to feel their real feelings rather than repress or deny them. Feelings may sometimes be intense or uncomfortable, but they need not be overwhelming.

We can watch them.

We can dance with them.

In psychology when talking about feelings we often use the term “mood regulation.” That’s a sensible term, but for me the word “regulation” brings up rules and an air of mechanical rigidity that I’d rather not impose on my tender hearted moody self.

Rather than tell an arising feeling, “I’m going to regulate you,” I’d rather say, “Let’s dance.”

After all, what is a “cloudy day” anyway? It’s just weather coming and going.

As Ram Dass once said, “You can do it like it’s a great weight on you, or you can do it like a dance.”

So what are the nuances around allowing your moods - feeling your real feelings - and consciously working to change them without repressing or judging them?

It’s not natural to be completely happy all the time. Anger, sadness, grief, irritability, tiredness, anxiety, and so many other flavors of moment to moment feelings are part of what it means to be human. But the feelings, and the mental contractions that come with them, do not need to rule over us. We can recognize them while also allowing them, honoring the natural rising and falling of emotions without being carried away by them.

The key is Presence. Positioning yourself in the moment, as the dancer. You’re not just the emotion. You’re not just your thoughts. You are an artist in the here and now.

So what if you see your feelings and thoughts as inspiration? When they are uncomfortable, that’s a call for something to be created. That’s a thirst. There are wonderful energies just waiting for your invitation - just waiting for you to open the window, allowing the fresh air, full of nature’s vibrance, to flow in.

Note the stream of thought here: allowing the feelings to be a motivation instead of an oppression. The implication is that there is a choice, if even a faint inkling of choice.

Let yourself be uncomfortable. Let yourself be thirsty. There’s a deep well available to you now. Let yourself be thirsty and let your desire to be quenched drive you to lower a bucket into that well. Then, as you pull up the pail of water,… you first take a sip, then…a luscious drink… then… you can pour the water on your head, letting yourself get delightfully wet.

Can you sense the motion? Can you start to feel that dance?

To be clear, what I’m calling “dancing” is intentional and creative interaction. Dancing is an expression of feelings, an expression of life, and as such can be transformative.

How do you dance on a cloudy day? Step One: is exactly that. Take a step. Put on some music. Lift your arms as if they’re wings. Move as if preparing for take off. Now go ahead and take the next step, gently expressing your creative curiosity.

Dancing with our emotions allows them to be seen, felt, expressed, and transformed, while also empowering us to be the dancer - to align with our deeply authentic ever-present self as all the winds of day to day life come and go.

To be clear we’re not just talking about physical dance here! Dancing can be any action that starts to move you, be it writing, walking, drawing, singing, or even doing the dishes. Dance is an attitude - self acceptance and love in motion.

When we gently accept our feelings, we can then lovingly care for them, giving that part of us what it needs, and dance.

I know it’s not always that easy. But try it. Move just a little. In some way, in some direction. Even if just for a few minutes.

Does any of the cloudy stuff really matter?

Does any of the cloudy stuff have the power to keep you down?

Are you able to move your body?

Are you able to move your mind?

Are you able to connect with Spirit?

Is anyone anywhere playing some music that you can tune in to?

Hey, do you hear that song?

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Photo by Korelyan “Tick-Tock”